She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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