don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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