Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
