That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
my liver is dry heaving
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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