Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
