why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
