I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
