dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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