I looked at my own cervix.
well you can't waste a boner
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My vagina just clenched in fear
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