she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
