he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
