He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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