I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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