new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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