is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
