my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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