on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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