I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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