You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I deserve this hangover.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
