Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
