This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
