What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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