so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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