me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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