ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
