Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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