i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
