watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
