I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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