Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
