i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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