I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
