did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
