If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
