Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
