I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Less talking, more tequila
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
