he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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