Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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