So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
