I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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