I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
