WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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