I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
