I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
