We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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