Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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