if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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