I wish I only lived at night.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
