I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
