margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
