If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
